Let's talk narcissism and what it really means
Hint: it's not about how many selfies you take or what you do to get "likes"
A few weeks back I received an email from a woman named Ginny Priem, asking if I would be interested in a collaboration.
Now, I occasionally do get asked if I would like to collaborate on something, usually things related to Iceland. But Ginny was not proposing that sort of collaboration. She wanted to talk about narcissism.
I was instantly intrigued.
As you may know if you’ve been following for a while, I am passionate about raising awareness about narcissism and the destruction it creates, largely because it is so frequently undiagnosed.
Why is it so frequently undiagnosed? My theory: narcissism evokes instinctive dread in people and makes them instantly recoil and get the hell away from the narcissistic person. The caveat, of course, is that the person needs to be relatively healthy. People with a history of trauma who have a broken self-image and low self-esteem have a much harder time extricating themselves. This makes them ideal targets for narcissists.
The other ideal targets for narcissists are children, because they are vulnerable, malleable, and often highly dependent on the narcissistic person.
The nature of narcissistic abuse can be extremely hard to convey to someone who has not experienced it. It’s difficult to explain how the dark energy of the narcissist, as well as the gaslighting, invalidation and manipulation to which they subject their victims, can crush your soul and obliterate your light.
Which is why it is so valuable and empowering to meet someone who gets it.
Ginny gets it, and I was really glad to have a conversation with her on the subject when she came to Iceland last month (nb she did not come to Iceland to have the conversation with me, it was a happy side product of her trip). That conversation is now live on Ginny’s podcast, and I invite you to have a listen—and to share with anyone you think may benefit from hearing it. 🙏 Available via the link below, or wherever you get your podcasts.
From the episode:
We feel awful talking about our mothers this way because the mother archetype is so strong and it feels “not right” to criticize mothers. But I did have an instinctual aversion to my mother, I think from a very, very early age. It was completely unconscious and subconscious and almost primal.
Finally, if you have read my book Daughter, I would be super, super grateful if you would give it a review wherever you buy books online. The more reviews, the more the algorithm picks it up and shows it to others who might be interested. Huge thanks in advance.
Enough preamble. The episode:
(Incidentally, no drinks were consumed during the recording of this episode. I gave up alcohol years ago—one of the best things I have done for my mental health.)